Confessions of a White Rapper

Diagnosis?

2008-06-12T13:01:00.002-05:00

So, last week I wrote about how something that I wasn't quite sure of had effected my ability to post. Well this week I think that I've figured it out: summer.

Today I really began to notice that over the past two days I've been filled with this insatiable desire for new information, and, simultaneously, a desire to synthesize this information and come up with a beautiful creation of my own. I have been feeling this crazy feeling of desire to create something meaningful, profound, and really cool lately. It's really been pretty strong, the only problem is that I really struggle as to what to create. This frustration gets me upset and leads to my aforementioned insatiable thirst for new information. Somehow I have convinced myself that if I take in enough information, perhaps somehow it will leave my brain like a brilliant, stream-of-consciousness runny nose that the whole world will clamor to see and then stand dumbfounded in awe. Sadly, it never quite happens that way, but it's the way I feel.

So while I was feeling this and not really being creative I tried to locate the source of this feeling, and I think I found that too. I also mentioned it already, I think it's the summertime. I now have a job where I get summer vacations a la the school days, and I think I'm regressing to my teenaged outlook that anything is possible. Albeit I'm a little more realistic, jaded, and beholden to bills and such, but the summer still fills me with restless energy that I want to turn into creativity or learning. My first desire is to travel to cool places in the world where I can pretend that I'm not weighed down by all of the accoutrements that accompany a professional, married guy who's nearly 30.

Which segues nicely into my second point; I'm nearly 30. Yikes. I think this also has something to do with my mild regression and outlook. I say mild because it hasn't affected my work or social life yet, just left me restless. I get restless fairly frequently, but this is the good restless that awakens in me the curiousity to better myself, to learn more, to create, and to enjoy. Hopefully I'll enjoy this little personal renaissance for a little while longer. Until then, I'm off to try and find some cool new information on the internets.

Something happened...

2008-06-09T13:17:00.003-05:00

I'm just not sure what. Obviously I'm trying to resurrect this little tome of mine, then I sputtered, but I'm back. The reason for the sputter is the typical boring mix of laziness and crazy lack of time, but there's also something else I just can't put my finger on yet.

I think part of it is that my mind is semi-dead most of the time due to a lack of sleep and subsequent overindulgences in coffee (especially bad coffee from work). I also think that my mind is also working overtime on certain things, which would seem a direct contrast to the previous statement, but somehow it isn't quite. It's very strange, but I'm on the case, and with this little 'vacation' I have coming up hopefully I'll have time to investigate all possible leads. It's going to be awesome to spend the summer outside again, see the sun, complain about the heat, squint my eyes even behind sunglasses, and realize once again why I switched to 40 spf sunblock (cause I'm a casper-white cracker who gets sunburnt easily, duh). But I'll find it and correct it. The good thing is that, professionally at least, I'm on the right path. I think that I have to work out some kinks, and learn from this first experience that is just wrapping up, and make the necessary changes. That will have a huge impact, and I can't wait to enact it.

Well, actually I can, and the end of the summer seems like the perfect time to enact. In the meantime, on with the bathing suit, sunblock, and sunglasses. I'm at the pool for the summer.

I am Tired

2008-05-19T07:24:00.002-05:00

Man has it ever been an exhausting couple of weeks. I have been working a lot trying to catch up, and I have somewhat! Today I walked in to a nearly spotless desk, which is very exciting to me. But I digress, I have been trying hard to catch up on work stuff, while also building up my workouts so that I don't die during my race, which is in a mere two months. As a result, I am totally exhausted.

This weekend capped off a particularly difficult couple of weeks, although I was unable to run this week due to a potential injury (it turned out to be nothing, thank goodness), I still put in some decent time in the pool this week. Then this weekend, after some rudimentary math, I realized that I spent nearly one quarter of it on my bike. Yikes. So anyway, that's why I'm exhausted today, and I spent all day yesterday on my couch dozing off. It was very nice, and exactly what I needed.

More Revelations

2008-05-06T08:58:00.002-05:00

But this is a revelation of a totally different kind than the last. This one is positive. So, I was hanging out somewhere today and did something that I don't normally do; I took time to really notice how a room is set up. I looked at the decorations on the walls, the bookshelves, where things were placed and tried to decipher why they were placed there, all in an effort to better understand the feeling I was getting when I was there. The feeling I was getting was one of wonder and possibility. I really like that feeling, and I get it very infrequently, so I guess I was partially trying to figure out its equation.

I think most everybody has met at least one person in their lives who kind of personifies this feeling. That one person who's partially crazy, partially delusional, but always interesting. When thinking about this person you get this feeling deep in the back of your mind that maybe, just maybe they could pull off some of the things they talk about, because they talk about them so candidly and with such confidence that it almost sounds easy. That type of excitement where you actually find yourself wondering; is there ever the possibility I could drive a Ferrari? Move to Tahiti and live in a beautiful beach-side shack and be happy? I wonder...

So I was getting this feeling, though not quite the same type of feelings I was describing above, but those same feelings of wonder and possibility. While I didn't really finish the equation, I think I might have stumbled upon the beginning part; and that, for me at least, is putting forth an appearance of organization. I find that I really begin to think things are possibly if I can plot a path to completion. This path is usually best when it is organized and logical, at least for me. Thus organization is necessary. The second part is that I need constant motivating stimulation. That's all I have for now. We'll see how it comes together over the next couple weeks. If it comes together.

Cry for Help

2008-04-28T15:17:00.001-05:00

Whereas I will state that this blog is primarily for myself, in that I am using it as a gimmick to make myself keep writing. If there really is anybody out there reading... if you could, I'd really appreciate a little shoutout. Just to see if this is reaching anybody, or if it really is just going out unnoticed into the vast void that is cyberland.
Thanks,
StaleB

Revelations

2008-04-28T08:12:00.003-05:00

I had a revelation this weekend. Well actually a couple, but there's one that I really want to share. Classes that you're not interested can very easily be so boring that you might just want to poke your own eyes out with an icepick. This is a bit of a revelation to me because it's been a little while since I was in a class that met both criteria of not holding my interest at least a little bit, and being unbelievably boring. That hot streak ended this weekend as I was sitting in my lifeguarding class playing read-around from the lifeguarding textbook with a group of 15-year-olds. Now, an astute reader might think that I mention the ages of my compatriots because I am going to blame part of the boredom on them, but that is not the case. Perhaps I'm showing my greenness at writing by adding in a modifier that I have no plans of following up on, but the problem really was with the lifeguarding textbook and not my fellow readers. In fact, they were kind of funny at times.

But I digress, (a phrase I use all too often, perhaps because I am constantly digressing?) and would like to get to my real point; which is that "best-teaching" practices aren't always the best. As somebody who knows a little bit about education (a VERY little bit), I am aware that reading aloud is viewed as being one of said best practices because it calls in to play more of the senses therefore increasing the likelihood of retention, as well ensuring that all members of the class were, at the very least, exposed to the material in some way. I understand and appreciate that, I guess. But the problem is that it's insanely boring and can produce just as many negative effects such as nausea, heartburn... oops, sleep, wandering attention, and anxiety at reading aloud.

I'm here to focus on the boredom aspect today because, on Saturday, we spent a minimum of four and a half hours reading aloud. Now, I'm prone to exaggeration, a fact that I'm well aware of, but that is no exaggeration. And let me tell you, the experience was just as awful, if not worse, than you could imagine. Quite literally, the entire first chapter - which we read in its entirety - consists of detailing how much sleep, nutrition, minimum spf suntan lotion, and what kind of sunglasses, among other minutiae, a "good lifeguard" needs in order to be a "good lifeguard." I was definitely thinking that I had unknowingly been sentenced to eternity in the seventh ring of hell for some heretofore unknown crime against humanity I had committed. But alas, it finally ended and I get all this crappy workweek to look forward to another weekend in the seventh ring. Hooray!

I'm only doing this because I feel I have to

2008-04-22T08:24:00.003-05:00

I hate to sound like just one of the crowd here, but I'm ENTIRELY over the democratic primaries. And I'm a pretty damn staunch democrat! But this has just plain gone bananas. It's been so damn long and drawn out and, as a result, stupid and catty with an ever-quickening spiral into ludicrous absurdity. Are we seriously worried about whether Obama was a professor or "just" a lecturer? Or whether Hillary was firebombed or whatever on a diplomatic mission nearly ten years ago?? I really don't care, but I do think it's absurd that she's trying to claim as international policy experience a jaunt overseas that included Sinbad and Sheryl Crow. I mean, really?

That's the problem though, because this is so drawn out there's really not that much more to talk about. So now we see the lowest common denominator style of political campaign where they just trade halfhearted jabs and pretend to get angrier each time they speak. Blech. This is so stupid, please stop the insanity, stop making your party look like idiots, and end the campaign already. Please.

Here's the problem

2008-04-18T22:34:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had this great idea for what I was going to write about in my second triumphant entry in my return to blogging; but it's gone now. Like a Zen Buddhist sand painting, it has blown away in the winds and empty spaces of my mind, probably never to return. That's the problem. I really do think that I have some good ideas, the problem is that they never stick around long enough for me to make anything of them. Another frustrating aspect of this phenomenon is that these days, I actually have some of the energy and drive to live some of these ideas out. Or at least investigate their real-world viability. Which represents a huge change from my previous selves, but only serves to further anger me when I remember that I forgot what I thought was a really good idea. Grr.

On a completely different note, and I know I'm behind the times on this one, but I'm watching a UEFA cup match that Tivo'ed, and it's a great game. Based on my very limited (not to mention antiquated now) knowledge of English soccer I never would have guessed that Liverpool vs. Arsenal would be a terrific game; let alone that Liverpool would be the favorite, but here it is, a terrific game. And, no, this post is not some type of "look at how worldly and alternatively cool I am watching soccer" type of thing. I'm not even really sure why I signed up to put this game on my Tivo, but I did, and now I'm happy about it. Perhaps I will now become one of those douchey guys who always talks about soccer in an effort to make myself sound more cosmopolitan and pretentious than I really am; but I doubt it.

sigh

2008-04-17T07:41:00.002-05:00

So, I just happened to stumble upon this site again for the first time in a very long time. After a quick perusal of my last couple updates I realized that this one will be just another in a long line of self-congratulatory entries welcoming myself back to the blog that I created and nobody reads anymore, as I'm sure I lost both my readers many moons ago. But here goes:

I've recently been inspired to reinstitute this outlet for my creative energy. For some reason I am too lazy to keep a journal by using the old-fashioned method, so now I'll go for the gimmick. It usually works for me. I'm not exactly proud of this, but I'm a gimmick guy. Nothing inspires me like a gimmick, except fear. Fear motivates me a lot too.

Having mentioned my motivations, I will talk about something else that I have been involved in through the motivator of fear. Lately I have been spending a fairly large amount of time training for a pretty big race I'm doing this summer. I haven't really been talking about it too much, but tucked safely in the confines of hte internet where there's no face staring at me and nobody will find it (the irony of that statement is that, while it is preserved for all posterity it's still entirely possible that nobody will find this), I feel like I'll talk about it a little bit here. So I've been training for an Ironman and I've actually been training pretty hard because the race scares the crap out of me. But it's been fun to get out again, especially since the nice weather has returned! It's also been fun to actually TRAIN for something again, as opposed to simply aimlessly working out.

Since this is my first entry back I don't want to overwhelm myself by talking too much so I'll stop here. Peace out homies.

So Much Happening, where to Begin?

2007-04-01T16:28:00.000-05:00

I think that I will begin with one of my pet topics: picking on the crappy administration currently in power. And the subject of today's rant will be the guy who's been in the news lately for badly bungling the firing of some government employees. Now, to start off, of all the government employees to potentially start a fight with, why on earth would you pick a bunch of lawyers? It just doesn't make sense. Lawyers are, well, lawyers. They know their rights and from my experience, aren't afraid to exercise said rights, in court if need be. Which is precisely what happened when Fredo Gonzales hamhandedly fired a slew of them. And then lied about the reason. That being his second major mistake. By saying he fired them for sucking at their jobs he then rubbed salt in the wound he created by letting them go in the first place. Is it just me or is this guy the MOST inept leader of a major arm of the federal government since his boss?

And I wonder why that is, perhaps because he's all sycophantic and fawning? That would be my guess. So now here we are once again listening to endless blather in a senate subcommittee that, while probably leading nowhere, is yet another in a long line of good reasons to damn this administration to the dungeons of historical thought. In my opinion he should be ranked as the 100th worst president, because I guarantee that none of the next 57 of them could prove to be as bad as this guy. And Gonzales himself should be ranked as the most inept AG ever. I don't even care who else is in the running. He oversaw this debacle, the FBI badly abusing their newfound Patriot Act power, and god knows what other forms of corruption and ineptitude within his purview.

On a positive note, I finished one of my classes last week and it's finally getting warm. There's nothing quite so awesome as the coming of Spring. Hooray Cherry Blossoms.

Never Fear Good Citizens

2007-03-25T17:25:00.000-05:00

Your Boy is Back! After what has been an interminably long hiatus, I am attempting to make inroads back into the world of blogalogging. So here goes.

Since last I soliloquized I have had so many enraging/disheartening, and just plain weird moments I wouldn't even know where to begin. So on that note I'm going to forego attempting to update the status of my life save to say that I am now in a new job, travelling way too far to said job, and taking classes to get yet another new job. All of which is actually very cool. I'm supremely busy, for me, but enjoying it all for the most part.

On that note, my topic du jour will be education. This is the career for which I am currently studying. And it's something I can't wait to enter. My classes, for the most part, are pretty alright. I am liking the things that I'm learning, though the instruction has been up and down. Some very high ups, and some pretty low downs. It's adult education, and the teachers all have other full-time jobs, so I kind of feel like the class struggles as a result, but they all know their stuff, so I'm learning bundles. My only gripe for today's rant is that while I think most of the theories being taught have been updated to reflect modern thoughts for maximizing the effectiveness of teaching strategies, unfortunately many teachers haven't been updated to maximize teaching strategies. I've found that some people are just set in their ways, and sometimes, those ways aren't really in step with the realities of today's world, and educational environment.

But this is not unique to education by any stretch of the imagination. It is visible in all aspects of society, and therefore it's just another obstacle, but in class, it's very frustrating. For example, a woman in one of my classes, who is going to be an English teacher some day, was talking about how her son got a B minus on some paper that he'd written, even though she would have given the paper an A. "Not because he's my son or anything, but because it was a superb paper." Riiiight, and I would give myself a salary of a million dollars, not because I would benefit from it, but because I truly deserve it. But secondarily she went on to talk about how the teacher was totally wrong for not telling her son why he received the grade he did; in the same breath that she said the teacher wrote notes in the margins. Then she went on to detail how her son was getting lower grades because his teacher knew that his mother was an English teacher and therefore didn't like him (huh?) or his work (double huh?).

Now this story was very frustrating to listen to, but I also think that it's passing on a very bad lesson to her son. She is encouraging her son to discredit his teacher and place blame on his teacher for not achieving a higher grade. Not encouraging him to ask his teacher why he received the grade he got. Now, there is a distinct possibility the teacher just doesn't like this kid, if he's anything like his mom, I can't say I'd blame the teacher, but as a parent she needs to encourage her son to look at this as a situation where he could improve upon his own problem-solving techniques, and potentially his work, by taking initiative to find his weaknesses and address them. At least in my no-kid-having opinion. And also she doesn't really need to bring this stupid crap to me. She needs to wait until she actually finishes all her education classes and enters the realm before she casts judgment on anybody else. At least in my opinion.

So, there's the inaugural return. I expect nobody to notice, but I'm pretty happy with myself for writing something again.

Alright, I'll say it....

2006-12-17T19:04:00.000-05:00

Carmelo Anthony fights like a punk. I hate to say it, cause he doesn't play basketball that way, and from what I've seen he seems to be a pretty decent dude, but he's kind of a punk. I was watching the footage from the melee at the end of Knicks/Nuggets game where both teams got ejected, and he acted like a punk.

First, he's pretty much absent until it's nearly all over and one of the Knicks is being held back by no fewer than four people when 'Melo rolls up, jacks him in the face and then proceeds to scamper away like a little punk. Jared Jeffries chases him, and 'Melo continues to run away and let his teammates act as fodder to hold Jeffries back. That's a bitch move Carmelo.

Now, upon a re-viewing, it appears as though Jared Jeffries did, at some point, grab Carmelo by the throat. So, I can understand why he was upset, and why he wanted to fight somebody, but why did he choose to steal some guy in the face who was being restrained by four people? And it wasn't even Jeffries, who Carmelo should have been upset with. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but throwing a punch at a guy who can't do anything about it and running away is lame.

Recommendations

2006-12-15T18:39:00.000-05:00

I was watching the movie Everything is Illuminated today, and I think it's amazing. Not least because I'm a sucker for a funny accent, but I digress. The movie, to me, represents a very well done mixture of semi-slapstick/situational comedy with serious, emotional undertones. I think it does a great job of playing one off of the other to reach great depths without stooping to watery sentimentalism, or cheesy all-too-long soliloquys and smarmy speeches.

My second recommendation, and I've been sitting on this one for a while, is a CD called Play With Toys by Basehead. From what I've heard through my music guru it's the work of a dude who was going to Howard and decided to make a record. My only gripe is that it's pretty obvious that he didn't have access to a recording booth, as the sound quality isn't the best. The vocals come through very soft throughout most of the album. Which is a pretty big bummer because the guy's really pretty witty, and has some great lines. Overall, it's a very solid effort, and I highly recommend.

Directions, Goals and Expectations

2006-12-06T19:00:00.000-05:00

So, my class ended last night. Which is a great thing, but something happened during the class which really kind of frustrated me. One of the assignments that we had was to make a presentation in groups of threes. Now, my group presented a couple of weeks ago, and I thought that we did alright. I will be honest, there was nothing particularly inspired about my group, but we were certainly palatable, and presented our information clearly and within a reasonable depth, given the subject matter.

So yesterday my teacher gave 'feedback' to all of the individual groups. So, he pulled my group aside and... didn't really say anything. He sort of hemmed and hawed about how it was alright, then continued on by saying "your group's presentation most closely resembled those that I had seen in previous classes." So, what the heck does that mean? That we were bad and lacked creativity? Fair enough, if that's what he thinks, but why didn't he say it? Then he began talking about how he purposely provides very little instruction or guidance to each of his assignments so as not to get many repetitions of the same thing. Which is understandable, but then he went on to say, in the same sentence, that he liked it when groups A, B, and C. This I thought was very frustrating because, if you're not going to provide any instruction or direction for your assignments, then you have effectively forfeited your right to have any expectation as to what to expect, in my opinion. I mean, sure, a person can expect a good presentation that is articulate and forthright etc, but you can't very well say that you're disappointed that I didn't break the class up in to groups and make them do activities if your desire to see that happen was not even tangentially alluded to prior to the delivery of the presentation.

So, I'm feeling a bit frustrated because he basically provided no feedback, except to, in my opinion, allude to my presentation sucking, and then say he was disappointed to see that we didn't do something that he never even mentioned.

Black Cloud

2006-12-06T18:54:00.000-05:00

So, I recently went through what is essentially the remedial class at my job. And let me tell, while it totally sucked to have to go through the class, and it was more than a little bit humbling and frustrating, I have to say that there were some perks. You see, the reason that I had to go through the remedial class was because my job duties, and the things I had to do had turned into a black cloud. I had no idea of the specifics of how to complete all of my assignments, but I knew they were out there, looming, waiting, and certainly not getting blown away at all. Just hanging right over my head a la Charlie Brown, and the rain was making me sink. It sucked.

And while the remedial class did suck because I felt/feel like I took a lot of heat for things that I didn't really need to take the heat for, I did learn how to turn that cloud into something tangible that I will eventually kick away and get through until I can safely quit this job and move on to something that I will actually be good at, and succeed. I wonder what that will be, I could sure use it right now. An uplifting message for today from the one StalebREAD.

Taking Classes as an adult

2006-11-20T14:29:00.000-05:00

The bRead is currently taking some classes right now, and let me tell you, taking classes as an adult is totally different than as a kid. I mean, maybe I'm not quite an adult yet, but close enough. So, my class is mostly inhabited by people older than me, I'd say mid-40's or so.

So, in my class, the teacher is really laid back, there's no due dates for assignments, only suggestions. There's no rules or anything, we're all adults, so it's pretty freeform. Which is nice, but what I've found too, is that the students all want to be the teacher. Everybody views themselves as an expert, and they all want to show their expertise. Even to the teacher. I would say that, at the beginning of the class, at least half of the classtime was spent listening to anecdotes that were, at best, tangential to the topic and at worst, had nothing to do with the mmisunderstood point of the discussion that they began talking about. It's insane. Every week I come home with a new object of my ire, as most people in the class tend to want to respond vocally to EVERY point that is made. Which is really frustrating.

Beyond that, going back to school isn't too bad. I really like using my brain again, and it's kind of fun, even if I do have to endure some nonsense.

Delayed Reaction

2006-11-11T19:54:00.000-05:00

So, I know I'm a bit late on this one, but I just have to say a little something because my home state finally went and made the right decision in this year's senate race. GOOD-BYE GEORGE! I for one, won't miss you.

Now to move on. The Webb-Allen race, while wholly embarrassing in the range of dumbass topics covered, and levels of inanity reached, was, at the least, entertaining. And at worst, it encapsulated everything that is wrong with modern American politics by spending a majority of time and money discussing stupid comments by a nitwit, and an even more classless and stupid conversation over the messages that we can take about an author through his works of fiction.

But I digress, this post was supposed to be about my happiness about my state finally voting in a democrat, and seeing beyond the dumb, good ol' boy carrying a football (and, seriously, what was that all about?) rhetoric and voting in somebody who at least appears to have some substance. But my exuberance was more than a little bit moderated by the state pretty overwhelmingly voting to add an article to the state constitution that bans gay marriage, and not only gay marriage, but ANY type of civil union. Yes, I wish this blog were more than just a means of avoiding work for two of my friends, because if it were, I would use this space to educate my fellow Virginians that the whole clause about banning civil unions will affect everybody, not just gay people. And I know there's a lot of people out there that could care less about being and/or appearing homophobic and myopic, but the civil union thing will indeed affect straight people too. Yes, that's right, we just wrote in our constitution that we don't want to extend legal rights to ANYBODY in any type of relationship that is not consecrated by somebody's version of God, and that's really a pretty humongous mistake. I'm sorry gay people, and I'm sorry those of you in common-law marriages, or committed relationships who don't care to get married. I tried my best.

But on a high note, Go Dems!

If your life could be a song...

2006-11-04T01:09:00.000-05:00

Which one would it be? I mean, would you pick some sweet, nice song so that every thing could be great and wonderful and saccharine sweet? Or perhaps some perverted and overtly sexual song, so that life was like being a guy, and all you thought about was sex?

I was just thinking about this and I could come up with no sort of answer. The closest I got was a minimum of four. I'd need some sort of badass song, a la metallica or Rage Against the Machine, then a low-key guy like the Dead or Erykah Badu or Jack Johnson, or for the hispanohablantes Jarabe de Palo, then just a totally awesome song like Biggie or Tupac, or Tribe, The Roots and some sort of classic like Miles or John Coltrane or Ella, but an absolute minimum of four. Any other ideas?

106 & Park

2006-11-02T18:10:00.000-05:00

So, I was just watching a little bit of this show, which I used to be a big fan of on the high school and college days and I have to say that I was more than a little disappointed. I don't think it's because I'm a codger and the kids and their music these days...though I could say a few words about that too. But I think it's because the hosts couldn't annoy me more if they were actively trying to. They're stiff, and boring, and the girl, while hot, is truly awful. She kind of hangs there limply and says annoying crap every now and then. Oh I long for the days of Free, she was a hottie, and not annoying at all.

So, what should we do?

2006-10-27T22:19:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here alone, late at night, swilling wine and watching Bill Maher on TV. Now, they're talking about politics and the crappy races and campaigns being run that are talking about people's sexual lives in the 7th grade and such and one of his guests is talking about how we shouldn't talk about the stupid campaign dumbness because there's war and famine and people dying. Which is a valid, and valiant, point to make, but at the same time, there's some pretty awful stuff happening in these campaigns, there's also some REALLY crappy stuff happening on city streets in America and every other country on the globe. So, what do we do?

Where do we focus our attention? Which is the most worthy cause of devoting air time, or columns, or spare change, or breath when we're talking with out friends? Who should I care most about? The all-too-numerous civilians dying in Iraq? The all-too-numerous U.S. soldiers dying there also? The people in Darfur? With so much to cry, and worry, and get angry about, honestly, what am I supposed to do? Besides swill wine of course.

I guess my point is this, in my opinion, the world is both a pretty awesome, and a pretty crappy, place. It just depends on where, when, and through whom you entered it. It's all just a gigantic cosmic crapshoot, and whatever we do while we're in it, in my opinion, is pretty much just icing on the cake. If you live a good life, good for you, but that doesn't mean good things will happen. And if you're a crappy person, you're a crappy person, but it doesn't mean life will be bad. And if you've had crappy luck, sucks for you, but ya know what, you're not the most pathetic person here. Every second that passes somebody in the world finds out just how shitty things can get here, and every second that precedent sinks lower and lower. Every second that passes by something truly awful happens, so what do I concentrate on? I try to think about these things, and I certainly have thoughts on the things that I know about, and I try to do what I think is best by voting and doing what I can to help the people that I can help, but beyond that, it's not necessarily nihilism I don't think, but my new approach is that this is a pretty great place to be, but it's simultaneously the shittiest. Life's a bitch isn't it?

What a Jerk

2006-10-17T13:03:00.000-05:00

So, I was all ready to write up an overly long complaint about all of the Terrell Owens hype because, up until this weekend, it was all some stupid talk about a guy who was doing just about nothing on the football field, but he had to go and have a big game on Sunday. What a Jerk. I mean, the guy is clearly troubled, and somebody should talk to him and pay attention to his attention-craving maladies, but not the entire sportstalk universe. Cause I no longer care. At this point, not even his big three touchdown game this Sunday can resurrect even a modicum of interest I might have in T.O..

So please, SportsCenter, no more TerrellTime on the half hour of EVERY SportsCenter episode. It's totally unnecessary. Show his touchdowns, mayve even some of his dumbass antics on the sideline, but no more rhapsodizing about him. It was interesting for a while, and now it's been beaten to death and then kicked a little more.

Anybody live near Northern Virginia?

2006-10-08T20:44:00.000-05:00

Because I have a suggestion. For anybody who's lived in the Arlington area I would like to suggest that Crystal City is the sixth ring of hell. I'm dead serious, this place is filled with crappy, ugly, buildings that are all governmental and super-secure, so the only useful thing there is an overabundance of lunch-type chain restaurants and chain coffee shops. Then what they did was made two or three roads that run parallel and then they went and changed the names of said streets, so all of the crappy buildings have two functional addresses. And that's not the worst of it, all of said buildings are put together in sets of three or four and connected, though they all have different addresses, which don't, of course, go in any sort of numerical or logical order. And then we get to the underground, there is an 'underground' which runs the length of the place with stores and restaurants and other crap. The addresses listed on the underground in no way mesh with the addresses of the buildings. For example, 1750 Crystal Dr. is a mere 30 second walk from 2110 Crystal Dr. in the underground but in reality, it's four blocks. Which is a lot closer to 10 minute walk if one is actually attempting to reach either of the two buildings. For these, and many other reasons I do not have to the time or inclination to continue to list, I propose that Crystal City might indeed qualify as the 7th ring of hell. Dependent upon the day.
Farewell

Why can't he just stick to being rich?

2006-09-22T08:39:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was driving along and heard the latest offering from his Diddiness. And man was it awful, his Ben Stein delivery of crappy lyrics is as yet unsurpassed in it's level of crappiness. And the delivery is the best thing about the song, because the lyrics, a more or less unintelligible stringing together of words that kind of rhyme, but otherwise make absolutely no sense, is quite possibly the worst thing to happen to rap since I tried to write a song. And that's horrible.

Why, oh why can't he stick to being an egocentric rich guy like Trump? I mean, why can't he just keep to hanging out and doing insane crap in the name of showing off how much money he has? But please, please please do not come out with anymore of your own music, or any other Bad Boy music because Yung Joc and Dannity Kane suck only slightly less than Diddy himself does.

today's headline of Democrats Target Rumsfeld..

2006-09-01T17:32:00.000-05:00

All I can say is, It's About Time! Where was this intitiative, and the energy behind it, say... three years ago! I realize that Rummy has held his job for quite some time, and maybe he does think that he's making the right decision at the right time, but if that's the case then that's all the more reason to oust him. The key decisions mentioned, the troop levels and the disbanding of the army proved disastrous, and somebody needs to take over for somebody who keeps making bad decisions.

Now, is this the right overall stratey for the dems? I don't know, but as a supporter of the dems I have to say that I'm at least heartened by some definitive action. Kudos. I don't know how I feel about the definitive action being to try and get a guy fired, but if he deserves it, so be it I suppose. Please just use this as an excuse to start talking and trying some other good stuff, like winning back a seat or two in the upcoming elections.

i don't normally do this...

2006-09-01T17:28:00.000-05:00

but this is an absolutely brilliant editorial, in my opinion. Enjoy

i have a problem with Sebastian Mallaby

2006-08-28T16:43:00.000-05:00

So I was reading an editorial that I saw in the Washington Post today by this guy Sebastian Mallaby lambasting democrats for rallying behind a tour that is attempting to draw attention to some of the more distasteful employment practices used by Wal-Mart. I hadn't heard of said tour until this article, the anti Wal-Mart tour that, evidently, has become du rigeur for democrats. Now, I think it's a great idea that this tour is happening in order to draw some more attention to the hiring practices of Wal-Mart but, as is typical in one-sided political editorials this one boils the idea down to an oversimplified "they're shortsighted and communist those stupid old democrats" slogan. This oversimplification is summed up perfectly when Mallaby uses this argument that I have taken verbatim from his little epistle "But the idea that Wal-Mart pays below-market wages is false. Otherwise nobody would work there." Now, this was in the Post dammit! If a high schooler had attempted to use this argument they would certainly be reprimanded, and it's the dumbest argument I can think of, is he going to use that argument to protect sweat shops also? Or perhaps use that could be used quite brilliantly to sum up the situation in Iraq, it can't be that dangerous or else people wouldn't live there. Right?

I choose to pick on this line because it stood out to me as one of more assinine lines in a completely assinine editorial. So kudos to you Mr. Mallaby, you have supplied sufficient motivation to get the world's laziest blogger to turn his attention from the precious television to rant and rave about the assinine arguments of a writer who clearly doesn't deserve to be highlighted as an editorialist in the Post. I generally disagree vehemently with their other coservative bloggers like Krauthammer and, oh boy, George Will who just drives me crazy, but at least they cobble together well-penned little missives of myopic and self-serving outlooks, but this guy just sounds like a hack in today's article. Very disappointing, even for a conservative pundit.

oh Tess, wherefore art thou?

2006-08-26T23:02:00.000-05:00

Recently I discovered the talking book for listening to during those woeful midday radio hours where it's either bad talk radio, the extremely limited array of songs played on corporate radio, or NPR which, while very good, can be a bit much at times. So I've been listening to a book that made me realize that I really did like reading, Tess of the D'Urbervilles. I love this book. The story makes me so angry, but it's told in such a beautifully tragic manner I couldn't help but get all caught up in the drama.

So here's what really gets me about it too, how Tess just keeps wishing that she were dead. She wants to die after the whole Alec affair, she wants to die because she can't marry Angel, then she wants to die because she did marry Angel, then she wants to die FOR Angel, then she wants to die again when Angel comes back. She has rather a macabre outlook on life. And who can blame her, she represents the lone, semi-dynamic, moral compass for the book and she just keeps getting shit on, so I can understand her feelings of desertion and heartbreak, but what does that say about morality of the book?

But I digress, back to the death motif, so finally the only proactive action she takes is to kill Alec, which in turn proves to be the beginning of her end. So we have two very interesting plot points in this act, in my opinion, we have Tess taking definitive action for the first time in the book really. I mean, she writes a few letters and such, but nothing truly definitive, so her first true solo action is to kill the very epitome of darkness and meannes in the book, which proves to be her death as well. But Tess enjoys a bit of a break between the death of Alec and her own death. In the respite we have Tess and Angel living in a virtual eutopia, estranged from the rest of the world and safely ensconced in the mansion and each other's unwavering love for each other. In this intermediary we can read that the evil tension is finally gone with the absence of Alec, but we also witness the undeniable fading of Tess' life. Tess, who had previously walked upwards of 20 miles in a day, and worked all day in the menial and very demanding tasks of farm duty suddenly can't walk for the whole day, or leave the bed of the mansion, and asks to remain sedentary whenever possible. Certainly this is not the same capable protagonist we've grown accustomed to throughout the rest of the book. And then, we have Tess taken into custody in a virtual stupor, and that is the end of Tess.

My question is, why is Tess so inextricabtly linked to Alec? Are we to take Alec to be the opposite of Tess, a la, Danny Devito in Twins? Or, are we to come to the conclusion that because Tess did the unthinkable and commit murder she can no longer be the moral voice of reason for the work, and thus she must pay for her sin?

More questions than answers as always, but I hope that I have intrigued just one of my ... two readers to take up this masterpiece, what a great book.

Could it be a new love?

2006-08-22T16:53:00.000-05:00

So, I had a picture that I was going to include in this blog but due to a recent mishap involving coffee and my computer my web browser doesn't seem to like the prospect of uploading pictures to my blog. So this will have to be strictly an imaginary image to accompany today's rambling thoughts. But I digress, on to what had primarily inspired me to write today's little ditty.

Philadelphia. I went there this weekend to attend my best friend's wedding and loved the place. Not to be flip, my buddy's wedding was amazing, everything was great, beautiful decorations, a good ceremony, and a rocking reception. It was great, and I was and am very honored to have been a part of it, congratulations my friend, it was a great wedding and will be an even better marriage I'm sure. I'm so happy for you both.

So, the wedding is part of the reason I came back with such high praise for the city, but the other reason is the city itself. Having grown up in Virginia it's very easy to look right past Philadelphia as a destination, it being overshadowed by Atlanta, DC, New York, and Boston, but I think that overlooking Philly is a grave mistake. I think Philadelphia offers some great architecture, some very pleasant green spaces to pass the time of day and seemed to have a great vibe. In my oh-so-short time there the neighborhoods appeared to retain an identity, creating an overall feeling among the city that I found pretty ingratiating. Not to mention the ability to get good cup of coffee on virtually any block without having to visit a Starbucks, which is a quality I highly regard. So here's to you Philly, I am currently in a state of nothing short of infatuation.

Is it funny if it's hackneyed?

2006-08-09T12:11:00.000-05:00

So, like most people who frequent the Comedy Central channel I've found it virtually impossible to avoid who appears to be the flavor of the week, Carlos Mencia, and I think he's awful. His whole schpiel of screaming about being frustrated because there's some sort of taboo about how people refer to different races in America and blah blah blah. Now, done well, this type of thing can be very funny, like when Richard Pryor, or Eddie Murphy, or Dave Chappelle do it because they grasp the nuances and their commentary is both funny and insightful. Mencia's meanwhile, is merely recycled jokes from the aforementioned comics that has been slightly modified so as to be delivered from a hispanic guy. In addition, all he does is yell and talk about how offensive he's going to be, and then he tries to be offensive, but really only succeeds in being loud and mildly out of step with political correct terminology. I just wish that he'd be quieter... at the very least. And at the very best, actually create and deliver some original jokes. Otherwise, Comedy Central please please please stick to replaying the Daily Show, or schlocky 80's comedies. No more Mencia, the mind is not exciting.

This one's for the Sassy French Pony

2006-08-06T19:26:00.000-05:00

So, I'm not really sure how this works, but evidently I've been asked to answer some questions about myself by an old friend who I haven't seen in too long, so here goes.

When did I start blogging and why?

I started blogging around a year ago I guess. I mainly started because I felt like I was becoming intellectually lazy and I wanted to keep exercising my writing and critical thinking skills. I've found that this has helped me to stay at least a little bit creative, though I have been insanely lazy lately.

What don't I write about? Anything considered a no no in my book?

I don't think that I have something that's taboo in my semi-literate ramblings but there are certain things that I just haven't gotten into in this forum yet. I tend to keep my writings here more general, focussing on the thoughts I have that I find interesting, or things that frustrate me. But I can't really think of any "no nos" offhand.

Am I and my blogging person the same person?

We do share thought patterns and certain personality traits, though I don't know if we're the exact same person. Pretty darn close though. StaleBread and I are tight, but he's a bit more cryptic than I am.

How do I use blogging to build friendships?

I don't think I've USED blogging to build friendships up to this point. I've found that I have come in to contact with some people that I normally wouldn't have throughout the course of my normal life, so that's been a really nice side effect. Other than that it's mainly an outlet for me, and a way for me to keep in touch with people on a different level, like my buddy the FrenchExpat.

How do I describe my writing style?

Rambling, Wordy, and inconsistent.

wanderings

2006-07-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

So here's some things that have run through my mind of late while I've been attempting to work.
1) Did dinosaurs make noises, and if so, what were they like? Screeches, growls, roars, whimpers? Who knows?

2) I wonder if it is natural that, as animals move down the food chain does their power-to-weight ratio increase? My dog doesn't work out, in fact he sleeps approximately 22 hours a day yet he is very muscular and, for his size, he's really strong. He has great body control and can run and jump really high/far. Which leads me to believe that he is insanely strong for his weight, is this natural? Are the odds stacked against us cause we have higher reasoning powers?

3) If dogs, or cats for cat people, could talk would they have accents? Their jaws can't move like ours, so what would their speech sound like? That one kinda makes me giggle to think about.

And there's more but those will be saved for another day. In case both people who read this noticed a theme, due to my working from home now I have a lot of time to spend with just StaleDog, so we bond, and my mind wanders a lot while hanging out in the slow midday hours.

subcultures and lingo

2006-07-06T17:04:00.000-05:00

So I was reading some article off of Yahoo news today about gang members posting incriminating evidence on their websites and myspace pages. Now, that is just perfect fodder for a blog right there, but today I'm choosing to bypass the relative intelligence it takes to advertise one's illegal doings in order to focus on a quote from the article. This is the quote:
"In order to understand any subculture, be it al-Qaida, witches, devil worshippers or gangs, you have to be able to know their own language," it was attributed to some spokesperson from the National Gang Crime Research Center. I read this quote and seemed a little taken aback at the choice of groups listed. It seems a bit funny, doesn't it? Gangs, Al-Qaida and witches? uh devil-worshippers? When was the last time devil worshipping was cool? Perhaps he knows something that I don't, but it seems a funny linkage methinks.

Have witches taken to indiscriminately killing people due to extreme religious views or drug turf? Are devil worshippers now trying to hone in on the tattoo and beat-in markets? Perhaps they are, perhaps these two groups of social outcasts are now making a big comeback in nefarious acts, in which case... HA. That's funny, I think it would signal the complete return of the 80's to the fold, no? Leg warmers, tights, and popped collars have all made a raging comeback so maybe time for blind fear of people dressed in black with names like Raven and strange peircings. Beware the Demon King!

decisions decisions

2006-06-29T15:53:00.000-05:00

Ironically, they weren't made by the decider. They were instead made by the panel of 'unelected' judges that will no doubt be re-labeled activist and properly demonized. And so it goes as the Supreme Court has released their second major decision of the week. The first decision went largely the way of the ruling class with the court deciding that it's ok to gerrymander districts as politicians see fit so as to ensure that the despots rule over their fiefdoms for as long as they can redraw the lines.

The second was much more to my liking I have to admit. It seems as though the administration has finally received it's much needed slap on the wrist in the form of the court's denying them their prerogative to try ''enemy combatants'' in a military tribunal, which I gather is just about as discerning as the FISA courts. My thoughts on the topic are thus, it took this long for the spoiled richkid in chief to finally come up against some authority that actually held strong in response to his bullying tactics.

I don't know that I'm yet jaded, or legally savvy enough to think that perhaps the SC is falling victim to political pressure in these two decisions but it has been kind of a funny week for politicos with simultaneous celebrating and lamentation for both parties.

drunk in the early evening

2006-06-21T21:00:00.000-05:00

Is there anything quite like it? I mean besides drunk in the afternoon of course. Now, despite my jetsetting white-rapper lifestyle the Bread hasn't been drinking that much lately, perhaps one drink in the past three weeks. But tonight Mrs. Bread and I cracked open a present to ourselves from Italy with dinner and it has proceeded to go straight to my head and I have to say it's just awesome. I was buzzing at 9:00 and now at 10:00 I'm a little further on my way and now I can understand why I did this so often in college. However, as opposed to college I am actually going to go to bed some time soon and show a modicum of responsibility. Which sucks, but is for the better I suppose. At least that's what the world is trying to tell me... I think.

Beyond that, this whole showdown with Korea is turning into quite the steamy subplot to the soap opera that is the current administration, no? Kom Jong Il and Ms. Rice seem to be having a great time playing ping pong lately, I just wonder when the illustrious one will throw his name into the ring. With rove out of trouble now and back to full-time work for the GOP the political handling of this could become very interesting. Do you think that some sort of leak will come out about Kim Jong Il secretly having the DVDs for every season of Desperate Housewives or something? This is a small aspect of what happens in my brain when I'm drunk on a school night.

Back to the World Cup

2006-06-17T19:06:00.000-05:00

I am left feeling totally unfulfilled after today's game between the US and Italy. I feel as though it in now way, shape, or form even came close to proving which team was better on the day because at minute 50 there had been 27 penalties assessed. 27!! That's a frigging penalty every two minutes! It's not the NBA, there's supposed to be some consistency and flow to the game of soccer and that was completely and utterly thrown out the window by a terrible referee. I felt as though there were terrible calls that went against both Italy and the US and they served to ruin the game, in my humble opinion. What a bust.

So I'm an uncle

2006-06-17T13:57:00.000-05:00

And boy is it weird. I mean, I don't really even have anything to do with the kid, he's my sister's but it's a pretty strange tug at the chest to see such a small thing that's going to turn into a person and be my nephew. Some kid that's hanging around at the family functions and goes to school and graduates and gets a better job than me, all of this potential is just sitting there in this tiny little package. Not to sound too cheesy, but it really is kind of a miracle to think about, and has totally been boggling my mind since the little guy arrived. And he's just so cute I can't stop looking at him whenever I see him.

But the really strange thing is that I can totally sympathize with a baby's inability to identify himself as a person and other people as independent creatures with lives and thoughts and feelings of their own. Right now he's just this tiny little doll that needs to fed and changed and taken care of, but some day he will be his own person and go through the same things I will which, as I said before, completely boggles my mind. Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far with my limited ability to comprehend things like this, but I have to say that I really enjoy the way it makes me think.

i got the fever

2006-06-14T10:11:00.000-05:00

Like so many others, I'm sure, I've got the World Cup fever. Despite the United States team's miserable showing I have been very intently watching every game that I can catch. The atmosphere seems so energized, I would love to be visiting Germany right now just to be in the middle of what I am sure is akin to a combined Mardi Gras, New Year's, and Oktoberfest party that is going to last a whole month.

And that doesn't even refer to the actual athletic aspect of the tournament which, in my opinion, has been nothing short of awesome. Some games have been runaways, others tighter, and others very well-matched, and all have been exciting to watch. While I was living in Britain I think that I was beginning to catch the soccer bug, it was hard not to if the truth is to be told. It seemed as thought literally everybody was at least marginally interested in the games and the leagues so it was an all-encompassing presence on the community, and very exciting. I caught a couple games during my time there and was shocked to see that there virtually never a time when people actually used their seats for anything but storing their coats. Maybe halftime, but who likes halftime anyway?

So that's today's little thought, back to watching the games.

ciao bella

2006-06-01T17:14:00.000-05:00

Ahh Roma. Yours truly just returned from a little intercontinental jaunt and I am slowing working my way back into working, and the new/old time zone. My question is this, why is it that when I go over there I adjust pretty easily, but coming back? Miserable. Absolutely miserable. I've been a zombie the past two days. I wonder if it is the world trying to tell me something? Perhaps it's saying "don't come back no more no more no more" or perhaps it's saying that I'm a lazy bastard. But I'm pretty sure it's one of the two.

The trip was pretty awesome and I have to disagree with my good friend the French Expat and say that I had quite an enjoyable time in Rome. The people weren't particularly friendly, but I definitely didn't find anybody really objectionable. Also, I just really like how the city, at least in my little slice of a look at it, appears to have maintained it's neighborhood and community feel. There were always kids and people playing in the Piazzas as well as adults enjoying the evening air at cafes. Which I thought was really pretty cool, imagine, people socializing with their neighbors, and the internet wasn't invlolved at all. It was truly amazing. And yes, I'm aware of the irony that I'm currently using the internet to communicate, but irony is cool now isn't it?

I'm such a fan of Europe, I want some more of that coffee.

My theory is this

2006-05-23T20:20:00.000-05:00

Since bubba drove me out of the whiteboy rap world I have had to find a job where I am forced to look respectable and wear a tie etc and blah blah blah. From this experience I have come to a conclusion that is probably well-known and rather oldhat to most but I'm kind of proud of it so I'm going to subject both of my readers to it.

My theory is that "dress" clothes were brought about and designed for one reason: to show off one's wealth by wearing the most constricting clothing possible. The thought behind it being, of course, a person who's wearing such uncomfortable and constricting clothing certainly can't be doing anything that would resemble actual work. These people must be rich enough that they have people dressing them and doing everything for them, including picking up and setting down drinks etc. And then, like a lot of things have come about out of tradition we went and were stupid and continued this tradition and made it a prerequisite for any fool attempting to perform any type of 'business' job to wear these dumb, inane duds that prevent us from being actual contributing members of society. Instead I must haul myself around like a damn robot.

So anyway, I'm not too happy about having to wear a stupid monkeysuit and I think they're silly. But Mrs. Bread seems to like it, so I guess they're good for something.

sums it up perfectly doesn't it?

2006-05-21T22:58:00.001-05:00

Oohhh boy

2006-05-21T22:48:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a long time. Things have been crazy here in whiteboy central, due to the disastrous attempted return of Bubba Sparxx I was forced to find a new job because white rap has once again taken a beating, despite Paul Wall's best attempts. So now yours truly has begun doing his little part for The Man and is doing government contracting. What else am I going to do as an unmarketable English major here in the nation's capital?

Since my last post I have started a new job where I actually have to spend the majority of my working day... working. Thus the lack of updates. Once it becomes nighttime and the right time I'm not a huge blogging fan since the computer is often utilized by Mrs. Stalebread for something educational, what a dumb reason eh? Anyway I'm back and raring to go and there's plenty of bungles and missteps for me to point and laugh at lately. So hello again and heeeeeeree we go.

and just for the hell of it...

2006-03-27T16:12:00.000-05:00

proof that anyone can be elected to office here in the good ol' US of A.

my brain is a black hole.

2006-03-27T12:51:00.000-05:00

I only wish that were a mildly to not-at-all clever introduction to what would otherwise be an entertaining entry. But unfortunately it's not. It's an honest assessment of my brain activity of late. More accurately the lack of brain activity of late. For the past week or so I have been little more than a drooling waste of space roving mindlessly from the soulsucking office to home with brief stops outside to walk the dog. I enjoy watching E! entertainment television and the most vapid of vapid stupidity, the overwhelming number of dating shows on MTV featuring musclebound fratboys slapping the asses of the mothers of their prospective main-bimbos. It's really quite easy to get lulled into this lifestyle. It takes zero effort, physically or intellectually to let the images maraud their way into my now feeble brain and take root. I have lately felt the need to scream whoooo more, and the strange urge to go otu and buy a wifebeater in every color, and hairgel. I wonder if blonde highlights would make me respond to inane statements with thinly disguised sexual suggestions?

save the narrative, you saving it for carats...

2006-03-14T10:28:00.000-05:00

After years of stubbornly refusing to commit to an "arbitrary timeline" that would simply prove to tip off the insurgents it seems president Bush has had a change of heart. It seems as though he has now changed his tune a bit since his poll numbers show that he is just a little more popular than I am among Americans. And that's pretty damn pathetic. I just wonder if he hasn't shot his wad on this one.

Good Riddance

2006-03-10T13:39:00.000-05:00

Today Gale Norton the Secretary of the Interior announced her retirement. In her role among the environmentally friendly administration she was one of the chief supporters of drilling in ANWR in addition to spending much of her five years in office working to loosen restrictions on oil and gas drilling in the western part of the country. A true environmentalist, Norton posited that she and her husband, ''hope to end up closer to the mountains we love in the West.'' Mrs. Norton continued, saying, thank god I'm rich enough to buy a house far away from those annoying oil derricks.

And on a sidenote I'm sure that all of the extra time will enable her to help get to the bottom of that pesky investigation of her department regarding Indian gaming fees, which in no way influenced her decision to retire. She's a selfless civil servant that Gale.

Maybe this book should have been judged by it's cover

2006-03-10T12:14:00.000-05:00

In the Washintgon Post today there was an article about the first company to be successfully prosecuted, in a civil case, in a reference to profiteering in Iraq. The name of the company, which was founded by two former Army officers was, and I am not making this up, Custer Battles. Now, in the interest of full disclosure the name stemmed from the last names of the two founders, one of whom went to West Point so I'm attributing a certain amount of intellectual activity going on in his head. But come on guys, having served in the army and presumably attended middle school couldn't you come up with a better name than the big, bright, shining example of U. S. military overconfidence, foolishness and stupidity? Why not make up a subsidiary called Benedict's Arnold? Three Mile Island? Milli Vanilli? Ok, maybe not Vanilli, but sheesh, you guys sure are stupid. Great marketing team too.

Now for the news aspect of this story. Despite the conviction in civil court, the DOJ will not touch the case. In addition to their refusal to take part in the civil case they refuse to prosecute. Which, given quotes such as this: "You asked for trucks and we complied with our contract and it is immaterial whether the trucks were operational." Would be, to put it in recognizable terms, a Slam Dunk.

Sooo

2006-03-08T14:10:00.000-05:00

Can I take it as granted that I don't have many readers, well that's obvious I know, but I'm guessing that of those five readers none are cycling fans? If not, give it a try, it's a bit boring I'll admit, but very intricate upon further investigation. It's much like curling, or chess, only the athletes get sweaty and ride bikes really fast.

On that note I have included a picture of Lance riding really fast.

do they make people-sized muzzles?

2006-03-07T19:05:00.000-05:00

If so I humbly propose that Dubya invest in one for his esteemed colleague Mr. Cheney. Today he was speaking to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee and proceeded to mention that Iran will face "meaningful consequences" if they do not cease and permanently desist their talk of reinvigorating their nuclear program. This speech comes a mere two days after his boss agreed to a historic agreement to help India with their nuclear program, despite their never having signed the nuclear anti-proliferation treaty, and follows in the steps of the diarrheal ramblings of the never-afraid-of-a-lie veep. Let us take a quaint stroll down Cheney soundbyte memory lane and attempt to pick out our favorite stupid/insanely stupid quote. How about we start with the quote from the Vice-presidential debate when he professed that he had never before met John Edwards in an attempt to downplay his record in congress. It took all of about eight hours for that to be found out as a complete lie. Or perhaps we could harken to his assertion that the Iraqi insurgence was in it's "last throes" nearly a year ago? And that he stuck by that assertion. I wonder if he would still stand by that. Or perhaps all of the wrangling that he did in an effort to get us in to Iraq?

In light of all of these startling examples of truthtelling on Cheney's part I'm not sure whether to think he was simply playing to his audience or actually advocating the eventual opening of another front for the "war on terror." As well, his tough talkin' machismo comes at a time when the UN and other responsible statesmen are attempting to negotiate with Iran in an effort to reach a happy compromise without force is not exactly a great negotiating tool. No wonder these guys were insistent on putting Bolton in his position. They are chickenhawk cowards who like to talk tough. And in the 12 hours that it has taken for me to print this entry Iran has already responded to his dumbass comments with some machismo of their own. Way to start a pissing contest with a batshit crazy world leader Mr. Cheney.

But I digress, either way I think it is abundantly clear that this guy, while being able to speak in complete sentences, is by far the worst public speaker in this administration. In comparision at least Dubya is entertaining in his inability to speak and rationally answer questions, whereas Cheney just pathologically lies and relies on his gruff, old-man 'gravitas' to make people believe him.

Starting off right

2006-03-01T17:14:00.000-05:00

Last week saw the completion of the inaugural Tour of California which, surprisingly, appears to have drawn a great crowd of competitors and marked one of the first large races of the season. A true feat for a race taking place in America.

In addition to the success of the race in general should be mentioned the success of last year's winner of the team trophy CSC. The CSC team was a dominant force throughout the season last year placing riders high in the GC of most stage races as well as classics and it appears as though this year they will continue in their trend of dominance having added some very strong riders and managing to hold on to their key guys Ivan Basso and Bobby Julich and picking Stuart O'Grady who will be a huge acquisition.

And not to be forgotten was the stellar performance of American riders at the event. The podium was swept by Americans with George Hincapie finishing fourth. I can't wait for the rest of the season to play out.

Oh Erykah

2006-02-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

Oh how I love thee. How did I lose you? Yesterday and today I have been listening to Ms. Badu's Mama's Gun, and it's awesome. Although the record kind of falls apart towards the end in my humble opinion, the beginning is nothing short of sterling. Her unique voice blends perfectly with the instrumentation and lyrics to form a perfect cave to lose oneself in until the song is sung and the mellow buzz gives way once again to the harsh reality of life at the desk.

ruminations on my vitriol

2006-02-17T14:53:00.000-05:00

What I think is a very good debate that seemed to spring up around my previous posting caused me to think about the topic further than my initial feelings of impotent rage toward the government lately.

It was the following comment that truly sparked this latest introspection:
You are right, that is not hating them. But if you were to ask many people (from what I can tell the write of this blog is one of them) if they want the Administration to succeed and make America better, they'd say "No way -- I hate those guys."

It was this comment, and it's completely ridiculous conclusion which, if it has any basis in fact is purely anecdotal with the anecdotes coming from halfwits. I do not think that critics of this administration (of which I most definitely am one), or any person who lives in America would like to see them fail just for the perverse pleasure of watching someone that you don't like reaping what they sow. I would certainly love to see them succeed in making this a safer world for us to live in, reduce the costs of health care and help people who are in need. Any claims to the contrary are simply wrong and only good in a sound-byte type of environment inhabited by the likes of Bill O'Reilly and other catch phrase-happy pundits.

But I digress. The point of this is to say that, this comment made me stop and think. Has my anger, and the bitter partisan posturing lowered the level of debate? Are we, as consumers of so many different types of instantaneous media becoming immune to subtleties in language and point? Are we just becoming lazy? Or have we become so combative and jaded that we just disregard any subtletly as so much 'spin'?

I must admit that, at times, I have overlooked a turn of phrase or two in my eagerness to either agree or disagree with something that I have read. And I can't help but notice that it is done on a national scale in television, radio, and written media. At times it is purposefully disregarded because the rhetoric loses some of it's flamboyance and fire when accompanied by a modifier. But in such cases as politics and moral/ethical discussions it is the modifers and subtleties that create the differences that seem to have stretched into chasms. For instance, transubstantiation in religion. It's a huge deal to the different religions, but to somebody not intimatley involved it boils down to what you think about wine, water and a wafer. Now, I don't mean to trivialize religion in any manner, nor do I mean to trivialize this debate, but it does provide a very good example of a seemingly small detail making all the difference in the world. And in my humble opinion, I think that too often these details are either missed entirely or dismissed out of hand in public discourse.

Furthermore, once those are done away with there is nothing left but sweeping generalizations and wholesale condemnations or support. Like this administration, there is virtually no middle ground. People either are supporters of Bush or they aren't. I know nobody with moderate feelings about it. And, once again it is my opinion, but I think that this is the reason for such arguments as the aforementioned comment. With no faith in a well-thought out, nuanced argument gaining traction people on both sides revert to straw man arguments, anecdotal examples, and just outright condemnation of anything coming from the other side. For example, I pretty much hate anything that escapes from the mouth of Bill O'Reilly. Right or wrong?

With all due respect...

2006-02-15T18:21:00.000-05:00

I call bullshit on the Dick Cheney interview with Brit Hume. Without even going into how cowardly a maneuver it was to make his first public statement since the shooting on the fucking FOX network with a lapdog like Brit fucking Hume, his whole schpiel on "we wanted it to be as accurate as possible and that's why we waited.." is a total and utter crock of shit. In the same breath he said that in his experience most first reports are wrong. So if it was destined to be wrong anyway, why wait? Or better yet, why not just report what you know to be a fact, "dear Mr. President and media I shot my friend in the face on a bullshit hunting trip." That's true, and it still is. What is not true is this horrible crock that you are trying to foist upon us which was successfully spoonfed to you by your interrogator.

Good work, now you're a coward and a liar, not that that's a new thing. And when, in his history as Vice President has Cheney ever really given a crap about telling anybody the truth? Never, that's right. Never. A certain line from the debate about never having met John Edwards immediately comes to mind. Another comment about the "last throes" of the insurgency in Iraq also springs to mind.

However, now that I have had some time to reflect upon this whole incident I guess that I can't blame Cheney for remaining stoic during this whole incident. I mean, the guy has no problem sentencing thousands upon thousands of people to death, so what's so hard about having to live with the fact that he shot some dude in the face? At least this one was face to face. Maybe he's actually growing. What a waste of space.

in the spirit of the honorable Dick Cheney

2006-02-13T11:39:00.000-05:00

I'm going to pick on an easy target and comment on what has to be the most embarrassing story of late for what is proving to be a completely inept administration. Having to choose between the embarrassing stories was kind of hard until Vice President Dick provided everybody in the country with fodder on Saturday. Prior to this there was the whole Katrina hearings, the NASA faker who not only lied on his resume but helped to draw mucho attention to the fact that there was political pressure being exerted on NASA. But nope, this one was not just politically embarrassing, but personally as well. Vice President Dick shot a 78 year-old 'friend' in the face. Accidentally of course. But shot him in the face. Sprayed buckshot all over the poor old man's face and chest. Oops. I laugh because it appears the poor guy is doing just fine, otherwise, not so funny.

I will not try and top what gun control lobbyist James Brady said in reference to Vice President Dick's little outing:
"Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him," said Jim Brady. "I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog - and I thought he was an idiot."

Now for all of those of you who, like me, fear Dick Cheney like he was Freddy Kreuger, Sarah Brady's remarks:
"I've thought Cheney was scary for a long time," Sarah Brady said. "Now I know I was right to be nervous."

Being the consummate outdoorsman one would think that VP Dick would be quite well-versed in gun and hunting safety. Was the man not wearing his blaze orange? Or perhaps in a fit of ethical epiphany he jumped in front of the quail in order to save their senseless slaughter? As I am sure there was something radical done that would put the man in harm's way. Because the nation's jolly old grandpa figure would never be careless or unsafe while enjoying his life's passion. As well, one can only surmise as to whether Mr. Dick had planned on ever reporting the incident, as there was quite a long delay between the shooting and the first report from the local Corpus Christi paper. But I'm sure that as a responsible hunter he was going to follow all of the rules that apply, just like anybody else would.

Additionally this incident leads me to wonder. I seem to recall during the vice presidential debates of 2004 when Vice President Dick responded to a question about his Vietnam era deferments by saying that the government thought that his 'talents' were best served somewhere other than in the military. Which, now that I think about it might be true. I mean, he did only wing the guy. However, on the other hand he does seem to have quite a liking for guns and killing stuff. Ah yes, but when hunting animals they are not armed. A key requirement for our esteemed leader it appears. And a firm reason why despite his best efforts Dick Cheney will never be gangsta.

Disclaimer

2006-02-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

Along with the new format I have added some more links to sites that I enjoy reading. If you happen to be one of said bloggers and wish to have yours deleted please contact me and I will do so promptly.

Where's the Beef? vol. 2

2006-02-07T16:04:00.000-05:00

Well, this week it's not me with the beef, but two heavyweights have decided to go at it. It turns out that Senator John McCain has beef with Senator Barack Obama. This is way better than Cam'ron's piece of shit diss track. It seems as though McCain is definitely the aggressor here who decided to take the classy route and privately castigate, err, oops, nope. He publicly condescended to Senator Obama for daring to A. stray from what McCain had proposed and B. possibly use something so horrible as the recent lobbying scandal for political purposes. The Horror! The Horror! Imagine exploiting the fears and outrage of a nation in order to garner votes! Unheard of. But I digress, I don't think that Obama's doing that just yet. And thirdly, old McCain is outraged that Obama may have implied that the Abramoff affair is strictly a repubican issue, choosing to reiterate to the senator that this issue spreads across the aisle, much like a bad case of crabs it may very well have jumped over to the other partner, but Senator John, I'm sorry man, but the repubs are the motherlode breeding ground for political crookedness these days. And that's a fact, just ask Jack.

In response we see Senator Obama as being quite puzzled and still very conciliatory and measured. Good on you. Don't worry, Senator McCain never stays mad for long, heck, he might even choose to endorse you for president. Worked for Dubya, his campaign spread rumors that he had a black lovechild, then proceeded to run rampant over the rest of his reputation and there he was, shaking hands and wishing him the best on his trip to the presidency. So maybe this is all a clever ruse by Senator Obama to garner a republican supporter in his run for presidency!

But we shall have to wait and see who wins this MC battle my friends, the up-and-coming youngster, or the older punk. Methinks I see the beginnings of a shameless grab for attention, and the beginning of the campaign against the democratic golden boy by a wizened, mean old GOP.

Random notes

2006-02-07T15:26:00.000-05:00

I've been listening to a lot of the Mobb Deep record The Infamous and Nas' first Illmatic. Both are insane. Nas was just so intricate and hardcore, but with something beyond the grittiness, the lyrics have heart. I know it sounds corny, but the guy tells great, intricate and witty stories while remaining human. His rhymes on this first album were so dense and complicated it's a really polished album. Unfortunately Nasty can be a little inconsistent, but I'm very excited about his new album coming out on Def Jam.

The Mobb Deep record is awesome just cause of how gritty and street it is. Those were some hardcore teenagers man. Dirty beats, dirty rhymes, very New York. Of course Shook Ones Pt. 2 is an all-time classic track.

something fishy

2006-02-03T13:53:00.000-05:00

Or better yet, sweaty. Well let me bring you back to the subject, Pep's not on the set, but it appears that somebody's working up a sweat.

The last few days that I have spent in "some building" that I spend a fair amount of time in on weekdays I have noticed that a previous patron of the facilities appears to have feces that smells distinctly of sweat. Yes, that's right, it smells almost exactly like a post-Super Bowl locker room mixed with the distinct smell of feces. A phenomenon that is entirely new to me. While this is not the only strange smelling poop I have noticed at this particular building, it is by far the most suffocating. There also seems to be a patron whose droppings smell more than a little bit like stale cigarettes.

But I digress, I am, for the moment, stuck on the sweaty poop. Due in no small part to the fact that I was just olfactorily assaulted by said poop no less than a minute ago. But I am wondering whether the sweaty part emanates from a lack of familiarity with deodorant and it is simply a melding of lingering BO and doodoo, or perhaps this person really works up a sweat while sitting on the throne. Or, if by some freak occurence his insides sweat? I am at a loss, but I'm now of the opinion that this was not a random occurence as the phenomenon has been present for more than a week. Not omnipresent mind you, but recurring.

A new idea

2006-02-02T11:36:00.000-05:00

So, now that Bush has thrown down the gauntlet against human-animal hybrids I guess I will never get my guardian centaur, but I have another idea. I vote that we put a team of scientists together to create a chimp/cat hybrid.

Just think of the great things that would come with a chimp/cat hybrid. Chimps are cute, so are cats, plus. Cats are clean and chimps are not, so we make the cats dominant there, so they will groom themselves and clean up their own mess. In addition everybody could have a warm and fuzzy helper monkey that would remain clean and provide aloof yet comforting companionship. Perfection.

Being a dog person my initial thought was a chimp/dog hybrid, but with dogs you don't have the manic attention to detail that you might get with cats. But perhaps with chimp/dog hybrid you could teach it to wear diapers or flush the toilet and hence get a dog that you didn't have to walk and helper monkey. Once again, perfection. I think Bush is really smart in pushing the scientists to think of great animal/animal hybrids. He's a wily one that Dubya. But is he hiding something??

I give up

2006-01-26T17:10:00.000-05:00

Since moving up to the metropolitan Washington D.C. area I have done my best to defend my home state (VA) and my hometown (the RIC), but now I officially give up. While I still hold firm to the argument that Maryland drivers are much worse than VA, I give up defense of my state. Partially due to the oh so rapid success of the bill banning any sort union or contract between same-sex couples, but mostly because of this article.

I can see why an elected official would need to bring a gun into the legislative session. I mean, what would representative Cletus have done if some yeller democrat called him chicken, or challenged him to a duel? Or if some varmint got loose in thar? But never fear, the representatives from Henrico are strapped and ready. Now in some cases this might be deemed gangsta, but I didn't see a pantleg up, and rednecks aren't often gangsta, they're usually just rednecks. And what a good role model, I can see him now "kids, guns are bad, please stay away from them... unless you're going to a dangerous place like the state capitol." Oh, and don't bring guns to school, but on that field trip to the state capitol feel free to pack tha gat. Dumbass.

So to all of those who believe that much of Virginia is populated by ornery ol' coots, the defense rests. Sadly, you may not be that far off.

Perhaps postpone plans to move to Canada

2006-01-25T16:47:00.000-05:00

It seems as though our more civilized and much more popular neighbors to the north might be showing signs of weakness. Thankfully not even close to the level of conservativeness that seems to be sweeping our nation, it seems as though a conservative has won the Prime Ministership of Canada. This marks a pretty big occasion as a progressive of one stripe or another has held this spot for something like the last 80 of 100 years or something ridiculous like that. We shall see.

Oh Canada; say it ain't so.

who's afraid of Carson Kressly?

2006-01-25T16:16:00.000-05:00

So in today's Washington Post I read that the Virginia Senate has just easily passed a bill that will ban not only gay marriage, but any contract that approximates marriage between two people of the same sex. And on a related note, a republican delegate in the Maryland state senate is appealing a decision by a Baltimore judge that stated that Maryland's anti gay marriage bill was unconstitutional, adding that if the appeal is unsuccessful he will attempt to impeach the judge that came to that decision.

Having perused these articles and many more regarding the same topic I can't understand why on earth our state and federal lawmakers are spending so much time on this issue. It seems as though there are other things to concentrate on like potholes, sales tax, the budget, and collecting bribes. However, like a bad penny, this issue keeps cropping up once it's time for an election. Why the government is attempting to legislate morals I will never understand. To paraphrase Al Franken, I think that in several years people who opposed gay marriage will be looked upon in the same way as those who opposed interracial marriage back in the day. They tried to legislate that also. Both seems spurious and more than a bit reactionary and judgmental to me. Please do not waste anymore time on this issue legislators, I'd almost prefer that you go to meetings with lobbyists and collect Louis XIV toilets.

Clock Cleaning

2006-01-25T11:39:00.000-05:00

So, it appears our distinguished elected representatives have once again decided to prove that they are both distinguished and mature enough to handle the law-making responsibilities that we the people have entrusted to do by engaging in threats both subtle and juvenile.

"we welcome that debate on our side. We'll clean your clock," said Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C. When talking about the voting for judges as a campaign issue. And his distinguished colleague followed by saying: "It is simply unrealistic to think that one party would put itself at a disadvantage by eschewing political considerations while the other party almost unanimously applies such considerations," Kyl said. "So I say to my Democratic friends: Think carefully about what is being done today. Its impact will be felt well beyond this particular nominee." He followed this shortly by saying 'I'll see you on the playground at 3, and my big brother is coming to kick your ass also.' So those stupid democrats always just vote against republican nominees on principle, and they're just so hard to reason with due to their pesky thoughts on presidential power and civil liberties. But, wait, what about the new Chief Justice John Roberts one might ask. Well, apparently due to a severely short attention span the esteemed senators have conveniently forgotten that he was approved with a heavy majority, even among those vile democrats. But that does not make for such good copy, or such cool-sounding threats.

After reading these comments, and listening to some White House briefings, and following the news I find it very, very hard for me to find a logical reason as to why I should A) trust whatever self-aggrandizing marketing drivel our esteemed lawmakers decide to throw at us, the witless followers and B) trust that they will do anything other than attempt to spite the other party by engaging bully or dirty tactics. These threats, while being juvenile and stupid, also, to me, allude to a certain hostile and ornery mentality that makes me wonder just what motivates these men to do their job. Has the motivation to pass a bill, for some of our esteemed lawmakers, changed from the desire to pass a bill that will help our country to the desire to stick it to the other party?

I'm not the only one with Beef evidently

2006-01-21T18:37:00.000-05:00

So it appears as though Cam'ron has made very public his beef with Young Hov as evidenced in his recent releases of Swagga Jacka and You Got It. Swagga Jacka is a song that may not be very heartening for Jay Z fans as it provides many examples of him borrowing rhymes from other rappers including B.I.G, Slick Rick, Snoop Dogg, Rakim and Nas. At least he borrowed from the best, right? The other song, You Got It, a Killa original is straight poopoo. The rhymes are forced and languid, and the name-calling toward the end falls down to the level of forced laughs and the repeated refrain of "you ugly." Harsh Cam, real harsh. Then again, coming from a guy who lives in the colors purple and pink, perhaps that's the absolute worst epithet he can think to hurl at the recently retired CEO.

This beef seems so halfhearted and contrived, not to mention the timing, after Jay has announced his retirement and taken over the company that took over Roc-A-Fella, it sounds more like sour grapes than a legitimate, strong, beef. Unlike the beef between Jay and Nas, which produced FIRE on both sides of the coin. That was the kind of beef that makes Hip Hop such a great medium to follow. Reminiscent of LL and Kool Moe Dee, or KRS and MC Shan, that beef was all lyrical and made for very strong performances from both of the MCs participating. Whereas this beef is not so hot. Cam and Jay are in different leagues, Cam definitely representing the minors. However, I applaud him for his attempt at business acumen, way to go Killa, but you're out of your league.

CREAM

2006-01-20T14:14:00.000-05:00

I was perusing the newspaper today and saw an excerpt of an advanced screening of Bush's upcoming State of the Union speech. In this particular portion of the speech it was dealing with his plan for growing the economy which is, not surprisingly, to lower taxes and promote spending. Combining this with the knowledge that he and his buddies have recently passed a bill that will lower taxes by an estimated $40 billion per annum here is my alternative.

Please take this into consideration Mr. Bush and esteemed members of the electorate. Instead of lowering taxes by $40 billion, why not just give each American over the age of say, 18 one million dollars. According to the CIA World Factbook the current population of the United States is somewhere around the area of 296 million people. Weed out all of those under the age of 18 and it's probably around 140 million. Now that's only $140 million dollars, and I guarantee that if everybody was given a million tax-free dollars to spend, the economy would expand at a drastic rate. If it makes you feel better, the government could even stipulate that those dollars must be spent on domestically made products. Though that would severely limit the spending power since all manufacturing jobs are going overseas faster than Twista can spit 16 bars. However, it would still spur the growth of small business, and domestic spending. AND it would save us roughly 39 billion dollars in of the budget, which might pay for a day or two in Iraq. I know it's a bit radical, and it does not benefit big business or the rich directly, but just imagine how you could then swindle an even richer proletariat. A prospect I'm sure Mssrs Cheney and Rove are already contemplating.

For the propagation of this amount of money I propose doing it in much the same way the 'missing' eight BILLION dollars from Iraq was given away. In HUGE stacks right off of the back of Armored Trucks. Now wouldn't that be fun to see? Admit it, once again, I'm tickling the funny bone of the uberwealthy with the prospect of watching from their respective ivory towers as we the people go crazy over seeing more money than we ever imagined handed out to us from the street corner.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me dawg. I guarantee it will garner support from the constituents. Thank you for your support.

Bow Whoa

2006-01-18T17:26:00.000-05:00

Alright, most gimmick child rappers thankfully end their careers shortly after they've begun. Witness, Another Bad Creation, Kriss Kross, Lil Romeo, why can't Bow Wow do us the favor of giving up the ghost already?

I mean, his new all-grown-up album is not very cool at all. And besides, he's not original or clever enough to rap about anything beyond the radio formula, and we all know that he never played 'the game' let alone saw what it might look like on the mean streets of Columbus. So what is he going to rap about now, cause it can't be womanizing since his latest claim to fame is his relationship. I mean, if he showed any signs of good writing he could make it, but he doesn't. Bow weezie, please give up, your rhymes are wack and the fact that you're about a foot shorter and 50 pounds lighter than your girlfriend isn't really good for the street cred. Nice try.

However, I would like to throw a shoutout Juvenile's way for calling out Lil' Wayne. If you're over 20, please drop the 'Lil' from your name, it's wack.

Where's the Beef?

2006-01-18T12:04:00.000-05:00

For my newest periodical entry I am now introducing my 'Where's the Beef?' portion of the blog to identify my main pet peeve of the moment. This will be a periodical addition to the updates, with no real artificial timetable set up.

For the inaugural edition I am taking on big business, specifically Verizon. I have had a Verizon landline in my apartment for three months. In that time I have encountered nothing but problems, incompetence and terrible service. And the real rub is that they obviously don't care. I have been hung up on at least twice by customer service people, and now that I am leaving I asked that I not be charged for the time that my phone has been out of service, to which they replied, nope. Not our problem. Their technician said it works, so as far as the company is concerned, it works. Which is what happened when I would call about having my voicemail set up. For a period of two weeks I would call and tell anybody who would listen that my voicemail account was inactive, to which they replied, "it says here that it has been activated, why don't you call this number..." Because evidently, the computer is always right. Now, my problem with Verizon stems from a multiplicity of gripes. One, the company is simply too big. In order to talk to somebody with a pulse one must navigate no less than 10 minutes of computerized menus, then wait on hold for another five to ten minutes before reaching an operator. Once you have reached a person, it is just a transfer operator, meaning this person just sends you off to wait on hold for yet another person. Every time one calls one must speak to at least three people before the problem can get addressed. And the company is so large that nobody from one department knows anything about another, let alone the department in which they work.

After one has navigated their way to the person that they need to speak to, there are profuse canned apologies and a staunch resistance to doing anything that might actually resemble work, or research, or attempting to understand the reason for calling. It is all about getting rid of the caller as quickly as possible due to the 1000 people waiting on hold. Clearly this company has grown beyond it's ability to help their customers. And as a result of their size, they know they will always have customers due to their virtual monopoly of so many markets. Therefore, there is o real need or desire to upgrade the customer service department. Hence, me and my $80 a month are not even worth that to the company. So I get treated like crap and nobody cares.

Secondly, everything moves at the pace of molasses on a glacier. When getting my service connected I had to wait three weeks. Then it took two more to get my voicemail activated, then it was another month before my DSL was never activated, and now it's going to take two weeks for me to have my number changed. For comparison, it is taking two days to get my new internet service installed, and it took five days for me to have my phone number transferred from Sprint to Vonage, and it took my wife about an hour to have her phone number transferred. Once again, the company has grown too big for its britches. Much like many companies since deregulation became rampant.

Anyway, that's the beef for this week/month/hour/year, I apologize for the lack of quips and wit, I'm currently far too upset to make such comments.

Wanksta

2006-01-12T11:00:00.000-05:00

So, after listening to far too much of the Judge Alito hearings I have come to the conclusion that the man is a Supreme flake. Never in a serious, governmental discussion, with the notable exception of any press conference or speaking engagement featuring our esteemed commander-in-chief, have I heard so many 'I-don't-know' type statements. And the thing that really gets me about this guy is that he quite often says, "well if it's on the list I'm sure I did it, but I've wracked my memory and I can't recall." Does anybody else think that this guy may be a stoner? I mean, it seems to me as though he can't recall much of his life. Membership to a racist group? Ahh, not too sure. Fail to list your mutual fund company on your recusal list? Hmm, I've thought about it, and I don't know, do you happen to know what my company that is?

So either this guy is as forgetful as a guy who wanders blithely through life in his own cocoon, he's a blatant sicophant who will pad his resume with racist groups to get a job for a crappy administration, or he has absolutely no powers of memory recall. I'm going with the theory that after many, many years of going to work high he has very little recognition of what he actually did during those times. But then again, the guy also seems to be such a square that that's not very likely. One thing that is for sure though, none of these qualities are particularly confidence inspiring when it comes to qualities I'd like in somebody who is, sadly, going to be a part of the Supreme Court. Methinks he should stick to his budding male model career, look at that smile.

Hip-Hop vs. Rap

2006-01-06T10:26:00.000-05:00

Inspired by a comment made a few days ago by the Inebriated Writer (I hope she doesn't mind that I'm linking), somebody who I'm growing to like and respect very much, about whether chemistry-set rappers like Young Jeezy and Lil' wheezy and Nelly are really hip-hop I decided to expound upon what she began here. I hope hear hers, and other people's responses on this.

In my estimation, no, they are not Hip Hop. Rap, maybe. But Hip Hop, definitely not. See, rap is a subset of the Hip Hop lifestyle and worldview that has since grown into it's very own movement and earth-shattering force. And good for it, but unfortunately it has grown a bit too big for it's britches and, at times, is not necessarily loyal to it's background. Well, perhaps not loyal, but it loses sight of it's hip hop foundations in search of the all-mighty dollar and easy rhymes. Hip hop began as parties, and graffiti and outdoor DJs slicing, with the occasional accompaniment of and MC to get the party started. In essence, it was a movement, artistic, expressionistic, organic and mostly fun. When it truly became a movement and picked up some steam was when it began to express some frustration and become more dynamic, involving social commentary and a slice of life along with the good time raps and graffiti and break dancing.

Then somewhere along the way the secondary, and older, parts of the movement became secondary, namely the DJs, the graffiti and the dodo that is break dancing and rap became the foremost contribution. Then, like anything, ultimate power ultimately corrupted and some rappers lost their way. Once upon a time you could hear a rapper occasionally mention his gold chain, or MY ADIDAS, but it was just that, occasional, and the songs had some other point. Now, you have rappers teaming up with 'marketing' companies to literally sell out. I'm looking at your Petey Pablo. They get kickbacks from companies like Seagram's, Cadillac and others for each mention of their name in a song, and each time the song gets played on the radio. Now, in terms of hustle, this is just a player playing the game. So, as a hustler I suppose it's a good move. But in terms of hip hop and street credibility I think that it's the rap equivalent of Rome burning. Man, it's the culmination of the corporatization of what originally began as an organic, gritty, underground form of expression for people who had previously never had a grand podium or national audience. They were the kids squared and put away in the rougher, forgotten sections of urban blight.

Now, I'm glad that rap has gained in popularity and is finally getting some recognition for the art form that it is, but I will emphatically argue that not all rappers are hip hop, or would even recognize if it came up and snatched the chain off their necks. So, congratulations on the sales, but you're not good rappers, nor are you hip hop Jeezy, Wheezy, Birdman, Bow Wow, JD, et al.

a retraction

2006-01-06T09:33:00.000-05:00

I must apologize for the rather sopohomoric tenor of my previous rant. I was just taken a bit off guard and quite incensed. My name-calling only proved to bring me down to the level of a second-rate Bill O'Reilly and for that I sincerely apologize. From here out I will once again return to the high form of my poopy entry. Thank you for your patience.

HA Ha!

2006-01-05T16:40:00.000-05:00

It appears as though he's done it again. The old bait-and-switch. And on a day when I was going to give totally unprecedented kudos, the Douchebag-in-Chief has gone and pulled yet another fast one. It appears as though yesterday Sir Sucks-a-Lot snuck in yet another passel of shitty recess appointments. And this time, immigrants and women beware! According to this article the new head of Immigrant and Customs enforcement section of the DHS is an imminently qualified lawyer who, gasp, is coincidentally Chertoff's chief of staff's wife. Now I'm sure she may very well be a decent lawyer and all, but she's like 30, and she's going to control a multi-million dollar segment of the Homeland Security office!? I fail to believe that she was the best candidate available. Oh Harriet Miers where art thou?

But the fun doesn't stop there, he also appointed an openly anti-abortion rights woman for the position of Secretary of State for Population, Refugees and Migration. Well at least we know he hates poor people from other countries as much as he does domestic ones. Shoo! And since the deficit is out of control we're going to need more taxpayers, so I guess he really is interested in the good of our country. I take it all back Mr. President, you're doing a heckuva job.

And I was just thinking that I was so impressed about your little meeting with the former secretaries of state. But now that I know it was just a smokescreen to sneak in your crappy cronies I realize that the meeting was simply the brainchild of Lord Vader and the Pudgy evil-genius. Who can guess which is which?

Video Vixens

2006-01-04T15:37:00.000-05:00

Last night I was watching some show on Vh1 or MTV 22 on the phenomenon known as the video model, or video vixen or video hofessional if you prefer Mr. West's take on it. But whatever nomenclature you prefer, the subject matter was fairly interesting even if the dialogue was pat, worn, and none too inspired. The line that really made me think, or better yet, react was said by one of the models. She was talking about how it really wasn't all that sexist a trend in rap videos these days to fill the two minutes with as many as bethonged asses as humanly possible due to the fact that the women represent the motor that drives the video. She summed it up by saying, "if all the women decided not to come there would be no video." Now, that isn't the exact quote but it's a pretty good paraphrase. But this thought struck me because it represented the epitomy of what feminists are fighting against. In my opinion anyway. Not being a true hardcore feminist I'm not really sure what 'they' are fighting for or against, but I'm pretty sure they don't like the idea that a woman's most powerful bargaining chip is her body and her presence. Because essentially this woman is saying that her power as a professional is based solely on her looking good enough for men to want to look at, and her willingness to shake it like a polaroid for Young Buck's newest linguistic regurgitation. So in essence she has just said that her best shot at acheiving success is through being a sex object. Which I don't think is correct, or very cool.

Now, being a guy, I kinda like watching beautiful women, so I'm not totally complaining about the female presence in today's videos. What I'm complaining about is twofold; A) it's all formulaic and, for the most part, devoid of originality, and B) It really has just gotten gratuitious.

In reference to point A. It truly can be boiled down to a recipe for commercial success in the rap industry. The keys to being a successful rapper are: buy some jewelry, buy some cars. Rap about said jewelry and cars, throw in some sex, maybe a shooting story or two and use the work thug as many times as you can and you're pretty much good. Example 1. Young Jeezy. He sucks, but he's selling like hotcakes. For your video, put the jewelry, cars, alcohol, your boys, and a whole ton of ass on the screen. Rinse and repeat. Example 2. any Cash Money video.

And as for part B. Pretty much every video I've seen lately has been all about what you can get a woman to do. Pole dance? check. Ass in the face? double check. Threesome, foursome, moresome? check check, triple check. But the idea that women are empowered because the formula for the rap video of late seems to integrally involve women is wrong. It doesn't mean that the women aren't expendable, it just means that artists would have to, I don't know, THINK about an idea for a video. But it seems as though some of the women, judging by this show from last night, are buying into the line that they are empowered by this. And that is the most insidious result of this trend. On a large scale, it promotes the unhealthy idea that women are most powerful as sex objects and once again underestimates them. Now it's true that some women have parlayed this into larger careers, and it's also true that it offers opportunities to many women. And I am a big proponent of women being able to own their sexuality and becoming sexual beings, but not if that is their sole identifier. Because at that point it's not owning your sexuality but using it, and that's a very different thing. Here is a very good article on a similar topic if you're interested. So I'm not saying do away with it completely, but please, for the love of all things hip hop introduce something new. It's stale.

So before venturing forth to make the next video featuring the hottest cars and more ass-shaking ask yourself What Would Rakim Do?

Be Careful what you wish for...

2006-01-03T14:00:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems as though my plea in my last entry was answered. For the most part it was answered in pleasant fashion with people offering me some encouragement and nice thoughts. However there was one comment that was not so nice, but has inspired me to write this entry. So maybe, ultimately, it will turn out to be a good thing.

So this comment said that my entries lacked substance which, well, it's true. I don't lack substance, but my blog sure does. But I take umbrage at the attempt to classify me as a dumb white kid who thinks I can rap. Cause I don't think I can rap. And I never said that I did. So I don't think that there's any false advertisement here. I mean, it becomes quite clear upon viewing the URL, or my profile, or my meager attempt at rapping Haiku that the title of this blog is meant to be ironic and just plain silly. Cause, really, I'm the most apathetic, untalented lily-white whiteboy that the suburbs every spit out. I swam for god's sake. Does it get any whiter? Shut up golfers. Perhaps racquetball? Maybe sailing... but I digress. Oh, and also, Eminem, as much as you may not like his music if you are a fan of rap at all one has to admire his flow. He's a talented MC and has a way with words. I'm not a huge fan personally cause it's not my type of rap necessarily but I do think the guy can write and deliver some great lines. But that's not the point that I cared to touch on particularly in this entry, it was the lack of substance part.

So this entry will have substance. And that substance shall be named... POOP. How's that for substance? It's brown, mushy, smelly, digested and gross. But also kind of funny. Go ahead and say poop. Right now, out loud. It brings me a giggle every time. And it's kind of what I thought of when I read that comment. Cause, well, I thought the comment was poop, but then again I also thought that many of my entries were poop. So perhaps that can be the theme of this entry and ideally now I have worked it all out of my system, purged the digestive tract and now I will be full of quality substances like rose petals and puppies.

Good day to all, I hope that this entry has left you satisfied and contemplative. And in fitting with today's theme I leave you with these word associations I have when ruminating upon today's theme: president, finances, toilet

I'm so alone, there's nobody here...

2005-12-28T19:48:00.000-05:00

So, I was perusing my blog today and I noticed that it's rather a lonely place of late. Perhaps that's because the quality is lacking. And for that I sincerely apologize. But it could also be because nobody leaves me any comments, if you happen to have stumbled upon this little tome of mine, please leave me a bit of how's-your-father and say hi.

Happy New Year's muthafunkaz.

Hasta La Vista...

2005-12-26T18:15:00.000-05:00

So Christmas is over once again. It's the day after and all of the wrappings have been picked up, some clothes have been exchanged, kind words and seasonal greetings and now it's on to New Year's. This week is a funny phenomenon in my mind. People are in the transition from the goodwill toward men and giving spirit to the hedonistic drunken binging of the new year's celebration. My mind transitioned over to the binging part at precisely the same moment I opened my last present. Funny how that works.

On a side note, it appears as though the Washington Post has also gotten the memo on the death of Bling. Way to go Washington Post, it's about time. My only beef is that it's better written than my entry.

it's christmas time in hollis queens

2005-12-22T16:36:00.000-05:00

And everywhere else in America for that matter. But I couldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to, or a Happy Holidays entry to this, my awesomely fabulous blog.

But I do want to say this, www.postsecret.com is one of the best sites I've seen in a long time. It's right up there with wonkette.com, only more serious. The thing is, they only update once a week, so it's all tenterhooks for me from Monday to Monday. Damn you PostSecret!!

Oh, and Happy Holidays bitches.

picture me rollin'

2005-12-16T15:44:00.000-05:00

I got a new car last week. The car that I had previously was essentially totalled by an oil leak that would have cost $600 to fix. The car was a 1992 Accord with 250,000 miles on it and in addition to the oil leak it had been leaking antifreeze for years, had problems with the struts and all of the brakes. Now, in comparison to the duct-taped contraption that I used to drive my new car makes me feel like I am on vacation every time I open the doors with the remote control.

Ahh the beauty of the remote control. I can not tell you the sheer joy and exhilaration that comes when I am able to open the doors of my car with a remote control, and roll down the windows with the touch of a button. It is bliss.

Here's a picture of my new, yet humble, ride.

People Who Should NOT be more famous than me. Volume 2

2005-12-13T16:29:00.000-05:00

More people that should not be more famous than me:

Chad Michael Murray
Ma$e
Katie Couric
Mike Jones
Farnsworth Bentley
Nicole Richie
William Hung
Kelly Osborne
Jack Osborne
Michael "Brownie" Brown
Nelly
Freeway
Regis Philbin

OG

2005-12-13T15:47:00.000-05:00

Well, Stanley "Tookie" Williams has been executed. This execution, which marks the one thousand of first, or perhaps the second execution since the United States reinstituted the death penalty has certainly stirred up a hornet's nest.

Williams, who was a founder of the Crips many years ago, has since experienced a rebirth of sorts and began to write books, many for children, all espousing an anti-gang mentality. It is because of these books that there was such a loud, and acrid fight over the government's decision to go through with this execution. The consensus among his supporters being that Tookie had lately been doing his best to combat the ideologies and lifestyle that he had, at least in part created, through his books. In addition to his supporters, Tookie had support from anti death penalty groups as well as many African Americans who have long argued that the death penalty has been unfairly applied. Each of these vying for clemency based on the last 20 or so years of Williams' life when he applied all of his energies to strong anti gang and anti violence messages.

Williams should certainly be commended for his reversal, and received some acclaim when he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for these actions. However, the fact remains that he helped to create what is one of the most notorious and violent gangs in America. In addition to this, prior to his incarceration Tookie was not a very nice man, with a violent reputation in a violent society. Now, I am not a fan of the death penalty, and I don't necessarily think that he deserved to die, especially since his credibility gave him a unique podium from which to deliver his message, but I think that in the hubbub many have forgotten this part of his life. An easy feat considering that for the half of his life that he spent in prison, much was spent writing the aforementioned books, but his criminal past was a part of his life nonetheless.

I don't feel as though Stanley Williams should have been executed, much as I don't feel as though most people who have died at the hands of the government should have died in such a way. His story is a captivating one, and one that I think should be given some serious thought and discussion. Williams was as much a victim as he victimized others. And the organization that he helped to create outgrew even his influence, despite his best efforts. I think that his life should be remembered and used to continue in his quest to eliminate gang and street violence. Rest in Peace.

Bling

2005-12-12T13:25:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know, it's been a long time and I shouldn't have left you... but I'm back now. And with a vengeance. After watching some TV and reading up on some boards and things I have this to say. "Bling" has officially outworn its welcome. And to all of you celebrity writers who are even more whitebred than me, the actual jewel or piece of jewelry is not bling. Bling is what your VVS1 diamonds, or your 24 inch spinners do. Because they are so clean and blinding they bling.
Once again, bling is not an object, it's what an object does. Over the past couple of days this mistake has been driving me crazy. Along with the fact that this term is still used. Thanks a lot Lil' Wayne, it's not bad enough that you still have albums coming out, but you had to introduce this term into the dumb whitey's lexicon when referring to all things rap. Don't you know that writers and idiotic parents will use this word FOREVER now when trying to be faux-down and reference hip hop culture? Dummy.

Please, I throw myself upon the mercy of the general public to shelve this term. Please let it fall out of the public eye faster than Snow.

My new MC name

2005-12-06T12:51:00.000-05:00

I have chosen this widely respected, and oh-so-popular forum to debut my new stage MC name. The new hottest name in white-boy rap is MC stale.B.READ.

Thank you very much for your kind response, I'd like to thank God for giving me this talent, my teammates for giving me the ball, and everybody out there for not shooting me. Much Love. Here's a little ditty I wrote to commemorate the occasion, it's written in Haiku form cause I'm trying to change up the game;
White boys got it hard
Suburban streets ain't no joke
dogs crap on my lawn
I bring the pain true
Stale.B.READ hit hard like Croutons
I like Ranch Dressing.

Alliterative Punning

2005-12-05T14:42:00.000-05:00

Needs to stop on the E! Entertainment network. Having some time to waste I decided to turn on E! in order to catch up on who went to Starbucks in Malibu with who, but after a few short minutes I was driven away by the not-so-clever overuse of tantalizing takes on 'tween queens tittering in Hollywood. Get it, 'tween queens tittering? Ha, I'm almost as creative as the courageous career scribes scribbling scurilously to fill up time between Pam Anderson boob shots. But seriously, it's got to stop. There's a finite number of campy alliterations the audience can handle per minute. I think it's approximately one. Give or take one.

On a lighter note, it seems as though Saddam's trial is going to be one great show.

People Who Should NOT be more famous than me. Volume 1

2005-11-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

Ray J
Ashlee Simpson
Bai Ling
Nick Lachey
Paris Hilton
Any and All Spice Girls
Any and All Reality TV persons
All Gotti family members besides John the Teflon Don

This is just the first installation, if you have any other nominees please send them in. The worst offenders are of course Ray J and the Gotti family. Why on earth do masses of people care about them?

Hooray, the grand opening.

2005-11-28T16:29:00.000-05:00

Not being all that creative I will stick to the usual first entry rules and talk about how this is my first blog entry and that I don't know what I'm doing so here goes. But unfortunately it's not going very far today. I'm still at work and unfortunately the office acts like a force field for any thoughts. When I am at work any sort of creative thought is unable to penetrate the thick, invisible hide of the work force field. Sadly.

But here is something that I've just noticed. Whenever I shave, I find that I play with my chin a lot. Almost as though I'm stroking a beard that is no longer there, or better yet, was never there. Hmm.